Jen: Who’s there?
Smudge: Well, I’m here with Abbey, and Sarah, and Hannah’s here with her friend Chelsea.
Jen: YAY!!! HANNAH MADE A FRIEND!!!! Is it a boy?!
Smudge: Jen, I just told you its name is Chelsea.
Chelsea *In the background*: Sorry to disappoint. I can grow a pair if you want me to.
-Gonna go back to my room. Gonna go potty. Not in my room, in the potty.
**laughter**
-Sometimes I need to make that distinction!
I like looking like a hooker. It’s one of my favorite pastimes.
“You are a master nagger. I believe in you.” ~to her mother
I’m not going to lick the lizard.
In other news, did you know that boobs float?
Is it weird that I’m smelling a lizard?
(singing) I got a lizard, I got a lizard… hey hey hey hey hey!
Abbey, if you need drugs, I have drugs.
We can eat pancakes in heaven and not get fat!
